a moment to pause
On Tuesday, I celebrate 22 years since My Last Bad Day, which sparked Pause Breathe Reflect. I still clearly remember the morning before my first P.B.R. moment. Feeling overwhelmed, I broke down during a physical therapy session, and my therapist gave me time to collect myself.
My accident broke more than my body; it shattered my identity. I was desperate to find my way back home, but I was forcing it, which was my way back then. The more I struggled, the more force I applied, but it wasn't working well enough.
In the space that my therapist provided, I recalled my sporting days and how our coaches told us to breathe when the game felt too fast. That's what I did the following day. I woke up, slid into my wheelchair, and found a quiet place in the hospital.
There I took five minutes and did a box-breathing pattern. It felt good, so I did it the following day, the next one, and the next. Over time, I would weave it throughout my day and began calling them my Pause Breathe Reflect breaks to help me slow down, ease my overwhelm, and think about how I wanted to approach rehab.
In time, I left the hospital and returned home, and as I continued my practice, I found my way to the home that resides within me. When I went back to my corporate life, I discovered mindfulness-based stress reduction, studied Buddha's teaching, and became a teacher, but I kept my practice relatively private until the pandemic.
The pandemic was many things, but for me, it was a clear invitation to slow down and adopt a contemplative practice like mindfulness. It propelled me to start sharing P.B.R. and my belief that meditation isn't only for breakfast. It's best served throughout the day.
Thank you for being part of our sangha (aka community) and sharing your practice with others. It's the type of ripple the world needs today, and I can't wait to see how we impact it.
Until next week, keep rippling something worth rippling.
Biggest Sale Ever
Our Pause Breathe Reflect gear is more than a t-shirt or sweatshirt. It's a reminder to slow down and you can do hard things because you've got this and we've got you.
To celebrate my 22nd anniversary, everything is 50% through Tuesday, so this is the perfect time to grab your t-shirt so you can ripple something worth rippling in style.
Live Practice Schedule:
Monday: Intention Setting - 12 pm
Tuesday: 2nd Arrow - 8 am
Wednesday: Be Here Now - 12 pm
Thursday: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 - 12 pm
Friday: Loving Kindness - 12 pm
This Week's Poem
I emerge from our yellow linoleum bathroom blue
at one end of our single white trailer
and I have the length of a narrow hallway to consider
before reaching the living room blue
Blue? I know my mother is furious
You look ridiculous it's all she says
And I do I had torn the pages from a magazine
lined my bedroom floor with them and studied
those punk-rock spiked hair white teeth
high fashion popped collar leather studded glossy photos
strewn across my small space like a spread of tarot cards
telling me a future that I would never get to
not out here not in the white trailer rusting amber
thick of trees stretch of reservation of highway
that stood between me and whatever else was out there
Record stores the mall parking lots where kids were skateboarding and smoking
pot probably with boom boxes and bottles of beer
out there were beaches with bands playing on them
and these faces are shining faces with pink green purple
and blue hair
blue I could get that at least
I would mix seventeen packets of blue raspberry Kool-aid
with a little water and I could get that
it was alchemy it was potion making
but no one told me about the bleach
about my dark hair needing to lift
to lighten in order to get that blue
no one told me that the mess of Kook-aid
would only run down my scalp my face my neck
would stain me blue
Blue is what you taste like
he says still holding me on the twin bed
in the glow of dawn my teenage curiosity
has pulled me to ask What does my taste like to you
his fingers travel from neck to navel
breath on my thigh and her in our sacred space
he answers simply Blue you taste blue
and I wonder if what he means is sad
you taste sad
the name given to me
when I am three
to understand it
my child brain has to break it apart
talk as in talking
as in to tell as in story
sha as in the second syllable
of my English name
as in half of me
blue as in the taste of me
blues as in sad
my grandmother was taq šeblu
before me and now I am
taq šeblu too
Blue by Sasha taqwšəblu LaPointe